When I was very young, I feared of death. I did not know where I would be going after death or whether there would be pain. I felt insecure. I began getting involved in the ouija board during my secondary school. I smoked and went to discos trying to fill my emptiness. I fell in love with a bargirl and soon experienced a separation. 

I was not interested in studies. I enjoyed daydreaming and had poor results. Later I went to study in England. I had been studying at Christian colleges both in Hong Kong and England. But there seemed, no one had shared their testimony with me. I did not get anything from Christianity. I believed ghosts existed. So I believed there must be gods.